I’m a woman who has recently started masturbating and I was wondering if you could give me any tips.
In Need of A Hand
Dear In Need;
I’m a bit of a one-hand gal when it comes to shaking hands with the little guy in the canoe. I like to get comfy, turn the lights down, grab some reading material or pop in a vid and go to her: a few gentle caresses, some circular stroking, a quick dip once in a while and back again. But masturbating technique, like handwriting, is different for every gal.
According to a recent Glamour poll, 59 per cent of women use their hands, 36 use vibrators and 5 per cent prefer another method. Apparently, one woman likes to use her rubber duckie.
Someone once told me about a woman who likes to balance herself on her ottoman. She rubs her clit on the corner of it and every so often she lifts her feet and hands of the ground and it gives her the feeling of flying when she comes. Weeeeee…
Rubbing, stroking or pinching of the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand can work. Some women find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others like a layer of clothing or some other fabric, like a pillow case or your jammies (in fact, that’s how some of us got started) between the hand and clit.
A dildo inserted once you’re feeling frisky is a nice added touch. And a vibrator is always good for a quickie.
I don’t own a massage showerhead but my mom’s whirlpool bath makes going home for the weekend a lot more appealing. If you don’t have either of these and you’re flexible, you can skootch yourself under the running faucet in your bath.
If you’re looking for intensity, perhaps you could try the Mastercise. Brought to you by our good friends at Bliss, an online sex magazine for women based in Vancouver, “The Mastercise will help strengthen your stomach muscles and lead the way to an amazing orgasm.” You do it lying flat on your bed with no pillows (lube and toys at the ready so you don’t have to get up in the middle of things) with your arms at your side, knees raised and feet flat on the bed. “While inhaling through your nose, press your lower back into the bed. Using your stomach muscles, raise the upper half of your body – no more than a foot off the bed. As you exhale, slowly lower the top half of your body. Repeat.” For more info, check out the site at www.blissforwomen.com.
Now if, you’re gonna be doing this a lot, you’ll need plenty of lube. Allow me to recommend a lube that was recently sent to me by some entrepreneurial geniuses in Vancouver. It’s called O’My and my, oh my, it’s the best. It stays wet and doesn’t get stringy or sticky at all. It doesn’t even taste half bad (thought they could lose the Sorbitol) once you get into it. And get this – it’s made with hemp! What can’t you make with that shit? Turns out hemp moisturizes the skin and discourages the growth of yeast and bacteria – perfect for a lube. In fact, O’My is completely natural: no petroleum, chemicals, perfumes, colouring or sugar and no synthetic crap like propylene glycol that you find in most other lubes. They even tossed in some ginseng and yohimbe, both rumoured to up the libido (though don’t go thinking you’re gonna turn into a sexual animal with the stuff).
According to O’My’s P.R. lubegirl Jen DeTracey, they wanted to make a lube that was geared toward women. “With names like Probe and Astroglide, other lubes on the market sound so masculine. We though O’My would appeal to women,” De Tracey tells me over the phone, admitting that the product was almost called “Hump.” Whatever it’s called, it’s great and you should get some. Available at selected sex shops and health-food stores across Canada (in Montreal at Q’i Nature et Santé located at 4279 St-Denis and at their second location in Pointe-Claire at 997A St-Jean). To find out where else you can get it, look them up on line (where you can also order it) at www.omyonline.com. And no, you can’t smoke it.